I haven't blogged about sex in ages. Kate has shamed me into it.
Jon Stewart had me in tears tonight. He played straight man to Ed Helms's extended double entendre on the 'taint in Washington.' If I can find a link to the video tomorrow, I'll post it here.
Here it is, at Crooks and Liars.
Enjoy the taint -- it's there to give you pleasure, after all.
Hmm? What's the taint? Oh, you know what the taint
is -- it's the gooch, the durf, the chode, the grundel. Must I explain everything?
By the way: if the odd hand gesture at the end of that skit looked unfamiliar to you, don't
check the Urban Dictionary
, especially if you're the kind of person who is easily offended by graphic descriptions of off-the-beaten-track sexual practices. I'm warning you, don't do it.
And if you do, I can't be held accountable.
In other breaking news, CNN.com reports
that an African grey parrot cued his owner in to the fact that his girlfriend had cheated on him with a guy named Gary:
The African grey parrot kept squawking "I love you, Gary" as his owner, Chris Taylor, sat with girlfriend Suzy Collins on the sofa of their shared flat in Leeds, northern England.
But when Taylor saw Collins's embarrassed reaction, he realized she had been having an affair -- meeting her lover in the flat whilst Ziggy looked on, the UK's Press Association reported.
Ziggy even mimicked Collins's voice each time she answered her telephone, calling out "Hiya Gary," according to newspaper reports.
Having sex with some other guy in her #1 boyfriend's flat? That is low. No wonder Chris Taylor has made certain that everyone else in Leeds (and the world) will know, and tremble at, the name SUZY COLLINS.
Can you tell I ain't got bupkes tonight?
Feeling cruddy, whine, whine. All I want is to take a shower and go lie down.
See you tomorrow, fiends.