Tuesday, January 31, 2006

My little humorist

More later. I thought I'd dash this off before fixing dinner. I've been teaching my son grammar from Strunk and White, and from Karen Gordon's books, The Deluxe Transitive Vampire and The New Well-Tempered Sentence. He finished reading Gordon's chapter on commas last week, so now I'm having him go back through it and write sentences demonstrating each of her major points. Here is what he has done so far, uncorrected by yours truly: Monday. He barfed, he heaved, he blew his nose. I barfed Sparky up, and I saw her half-digested tail wagging. Sparky didn't like being in Sam's stomach, but she liked his intestines. He wanted lunch and she wanted a heart. He always salted her before eating, but he thought she was bland all the same. [Eeeew.] I woke up covered in barf [I think I understand the theme of this composition] and said, "Let's go again! Let's go again!" Tuesday. Sam tumbled and splashed and rolled around in the radioactive waste. When the radio started saying, "Recently there has been a radioactive spill and we would just like to caution everybody from playing in it, that is all", he started drinking the foul liquid. Sam drank the water so that he would get 6 extra eyes. From the left, a boy rose up and Sam saw his tentacles. At dark he thought 30 tentacles were enough. Out of the murky water appeared a girl with 6 red eyes and 4 tentacles. I'll make him a blogger yet. D.


Blogger Suisan said...


Very funny. (And well written to boot.) You must be a very proud papa of the master of barf fiction. (I kinda thought Frey had that title, but hey, there's always room for more at the table.)


1/31/2006 06:56:00 PM  
Blogger Blue Gal said...

This kid is definitely not the milkman's...he's all Douglas. (And if I were you, I'd be really proud of the barf fiction. It rocks!)

2/01/2006 05:03:00 AM  
Blogger Gardenwife said...

I know this is an old entry, but I found it through your ENT pages when I Googled "how do I get my ears to drain?". This writing of your son's made me laugh aloud. He is another Dean Koontz in the making, macabre with wicked humor. I've added your new blog to my daily feeds on Google Reader. Great stuff, pus and all!

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