Thursday, September 29, 2005

Cool link and quick snark

If you haven't done so already, hop on over to Stephanie Feagan's blog, where she has a fun link to a Kinky Friedman political cartoon. Go Kinkster! No more Muffinry, folks. I've had it up to here. It occurred to me, however, that some of you might still need your morning Muffin. If so, check out the Lydia of Purple website (get a load of that URL!), and while you're there, don't miss reading about Joshua's overpriced birdhouses. Josh needs to make a living, too. "Bless this Ozark Lad with a new pair of pants without holes in the knees." D.

23 Comments:

Blogger Lilith Saintcrow said...

OMG, is the birdhouse site for real or is it satire? I can't decide.

About poor Lydia: wow. Just... wow.

9/29/2005 08:33:00 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

It's not satire, Lilith, but Karen and I couldn't decide who had written it, and why there are so many grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors. If Joshua wrote it, his education is pitiful. If one of his parents wrote it, well, same deal -- and they're the ones who are homeschooling him.

My bet: it's a pathetic attempt at, well, appearing pathetic.

9/29/2005 09:00:00 AM  
Blogger Lilith Saintcrow said...

Man, I still can't get over that. I could swear it's satire.

You're right, if that kid wrote it, it's... wow. And if his parents wrote it... wow. Either way, it's... pitiful.

See, it's reduced me to incoherent mumbling. It takes a special kind of pathetic to do that.

Hey, did you see Lydia's little "I guard my identity as a Christian woman" thing? I thought that was unintentionally hilarious.

9/29/2005 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Lilith, check out Lydia's "daughters on parade" page. My favorite:

Sixth daughter
is
19
and always ready.

9/29/2005 10:53:00 AM  
Blogger Lilith Saintcrow said...

OMG, is she trying to auction off her daughters? They sound like she's trying to sell them to men like Brooke Shields's mum in Pretty Baby.

Must go wash eyes with bleach and wire brush now.

9/29/2005 11:15:00 AM  
Blogger mm said...

My thoughts exactly. It's as subtle as a livestock auction.

9/29/2005 11:32:00 AM  
Blogger Lilith Saintcrow said...

No wonder the third daughter likes her farm animals better. They aren't trying to marry her off and make her a baby factory.

9/29/2005 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Gabriele C. said...

Yikes, that family breeds like rabbits. And now it seems they're looking for some males for their daughters.

Male bunnies are called Rammler in German, and rammeln is one of the verbs for IT. :)

9/29/2005 12:00:00 PM  
Blogger mm said...

This is what bothers me most about this page - do you all count 7 daughters in the first family picture? Doesn't one appear to have Down Syndrome? Granted, the quality of the photo is poor and I might be wrong.

Mother doesn't come right out and say "this is my trolling-for-men-for -my-unmarried-daughters (and look how fertile their married sisters are) page - though it clearly is. She presents it as a family album. So where is daughter #7? Last I checked there was no shame to being born with a disability.

9/29/2005 12:56:00 PM  
Blogger Gabriele C. said...

If those girls are trolling for men, they should perhaps open a few buttons on those scary blouses.

9/29/2005 01:50:00 PM  
Blogger Kate R said...

I love Kinky. Wonder if he can help Texan Amy and her kid. (She outted herself)

9/29/2005 05:15:00 PM  
Blogger THIS! Christine said...

Dude!
How come I can click on this comment, and not the one about Spirituality (which is a story I really want to share with you... oh alright.

Purple lady sews well, but ugly dresses.. birdcage boy, just sad.

X

9/30/2005 12:36:00 AM  
Blogger THIS! Christine said...

Doug,

You're messing with me now.
The whole blog just disappeared. eh, at least I got to read it.

X

9/30/2005 12:56:00 AM  
Blogger Kate R said...

oh and the last daughter isn't up yet because she's not ready for auction. (NOT always ready, in other words.)

9/30/2005 05:21:00 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Okay, folks, I don't know what happened to my spirituality post either. But this is seriously giving me the shivers.

9/30/2005 07:39:00 AM  
Anonymous keith said...

There's now't strange as folk, my old grandmother used to say. Mind you, she was as mad as a mongoose herself...

I think it's rather odd to call them 'daughter four' and such like, not Susan or whatever. I wonder if they call them that in everyday life?

"Daughter Four, put down that cow this instant..."

keith

9/30/2005 08:18:00 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

It's the absence of the Trisomy 21 daughter from the "line-up" that shows the line-up for what it is: a slave auction.

I've been trying to put that into words ever since Maureen brought it up.

If they were proud of her, she would be just as prominently displayed. As anyone who has ever worked with these kids knows, they are (moreso than the general population) very pleasant, loving, and fun to be around. It wouldn't be difficult at all to show a picture of her with a caption, "Daughter Seven is full of love".

No, I think they're ashamed of her -- but they should be ashamed of themselves.

9/30/2005 08:25:00 AM  
Anonymous keith said...

I was just thinking, doug - don't stop your 'muffin outing'. I love those posts - great material in there for my current novel!

keith

9/30/2005 08:26:00 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Keith: look back to one of the earlier Muffin posts, and click on the link to the Television without Pity thread. There are more than two hundred pages of comments on the Muffins -- a Muffin extravaganza.

As for me, three days worth of Muffins is more than enough.

9/30/2005 08:56:00 AM  
Blogger mm said...

I guess the longer I think about these folks, the more I'm bothered by the way their chosen lifestyle bothers me.

Fact is, one thing about which I have no doubt is that they are living the way they feel God wants them to. And in that world, a girl needs a man. So mom is using technology to find good men for her girls. Okay, makes me squirm, but I'm sure her motive is simply wanting to make sure her girls have what they need.

It's conceivable, even likely, that the 7th daughter is as loved as the rest. Maybe mother is protecting her privacy by keeping her off the net. And maybe mom is innocent enough not to realize how badly she's compromised her other daughters by displaying them the way she has, on the world wide web.

Someone should tell her anyone - from like-minded fundamentalists, to people like us who want to shudder at and make fun of their lifestyle, to perverts who wouldn't think anything of amusing themselves while scrolling through pics of proper Christian ladies - have access to her daughters pics.

9/30/2005 12:03:00 PM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Maureen saith:

So mom is using technology to find good men for her girls.


Oooh, ooh! Remember the movie A Boy in His Dog, where in this post-apocalyptic world Don Johnson is lured down into an underground community of fundamentalists who, desperate for new genetic material, strap him down, shotgun marry him to all their daughters, and then electro-ejaculate him in order to steal his seed?

Didn't see that one, huh?

Maureen saith:

Someone should tell her anyone - from like-minded fundamentalists, to people like us who want to shudder at and make fun of their lifestyle, to perverts who wouldn't think anything of amusing themselves while scrolling through pics of proper Christian ladies - have access to her daughters pics.


Not to mention folks who could photoshop their pics, putting them into any manner of compromising position.

Hee hee hee hee hee. Sixth daughter is always ready.

9/30/2005 03:01:00 PM  
Anonymous keith said...

Is that the one where Don Jonson had the chance to escape six times but managed to call the guards just in time? :-)

It's odd looking in on such lifestyles from the outside (and I mean any fundamentalist family not just Christian in this case). I've often said that providing they do no harm to others then what's the problem? But it's a wonder what damage they're doing to these children. I mean, they're bringing them up well equipped to deal with their own little world, but they're probably very inadequate to deal with the world at large.

Is that a form of abuse?

keith

security word is xshpd - cross shaped - it's doug's diety looking in again :-)

10/01/2005 12:24:00 AM  
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