Wherein I get a marriage proposal

"Dr. Hoffman, I'll bet you're married." "Well, yes --" "I knew it. All the good ones are married." Imagine my thoughts as I looked at my patient . . .

Me: Damn! I must still have it: that hint of danger, that raw sexuality sizzling beneath the surface -- Mysterious Woman: "Dr. Hoffman, are you listening to me?" So I blink, and see . . .

Me: Damn! Not bad, Hoffman. After all, you've been a very naughty boy. Nothing like Xena to kick your ass down to Trinidad and back, then kiss the bruises -- Mysterious Woman: "Dr. Hoffman! You're not paying attention to me. I said --" I shake my head. My cheeks make those comical floppy noises you hear in cartoons. I ball up my fists, rub my eyes, and see . . .

Me: Damn! Okay, so maybe I'm not that crazy about blondes; but if a blonde has to have a jones for me, it might as well be Gabrielle! Sure, I'd rather have Xena kickin' my ass, but Gaby had a vicious streak, too. And, hey, as long as I'm pulling blondes from Xena Warrior Princess, I wonder what Hudson Leick is up to -- Mysterious Woman: "I don't know what's got into you." (Knocking on my forehead.) "Hellooo. ANYONE HOME?" One last blink. Oh, baby, we're almost home . . .

Me: Damn! D. Note to my Bare Rump readers: sorry for recycling a sight gag, but this seemed like a natural. By the way: that's Jacqueline Kim in the first photo -- another Xena alumnus.