Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Wherein I get a marriage proposal

"Dr. Hoffman, I'll bet you're married." "Well, yes --" "I knew it. All the good ones are married." Imagine my thoughts as I looked at my patient . . .
Me: Damn! I must still have it: that hint of danger, that raw sexuality sizzling beneath the surface -- Mysterious Woman: "Dr. Hoffman, are you listening to me?" So I blink, and see . . .
Me: Damn! Not bad, Hoffman. After all, you've been a very naughty boy. Nothing like Xena to kick your ass down to Trinidad and back, then kiss the bruises -- Mysterious Woman: "Dr. Hoffman! You're not paying attention to me. I said --" I shake my head. My cheeks make those comical floppy noises you hear in cartoons. I ball up my fists, rub my eyes, and see . . .
Me: Damn! Okay, so maybe I'm not that crazy about blondes; but if a blonde has to have a jones for me, it might as well be Gabrielle! Sure, I'd rather have Xena kickin' my ass, but Gaby had a vicious streak, too. And, hey, as long as I'm pulling blondes from Xena Warrior Princess, I wonder what Hudson Leick is up to -- Mysterious Woman: "I don't know what's got into you." (Knocking on my forehead.) "Hellooo. ANYONE HOME?" One last blink. Oh, baby, we're almost home . . .
Me: Damn! D. Note to my Bare Rump readers: sorry for recycling a sight gag, but this seemed like a natural. By the way: that's Jacqueline Kim in the first photo -- another Xena alumnus.

3 Comments:

Blogger Jona said...

Err, Doug, are you telling us about a patient with morphing abilities? Or sharing a fantasy where your sub-conscious laughs at you in the last minute? Either way – it’s a scary, scary thing ;o)

7/20/2005 04:50:00 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Think of it as a fictional adaptation of my daily experience. Plus, I'd been looking for an excuse to put Jacqueline Kim up on my blog. Rrroowrr.

7/20/2005 05:39:00 PM  
Blogger 贝贝 said...

The Tax Return Crack-Up<3>
Granted, there are usuallyMicrosoft Office 2010write-ups when presidential contenders make their tax returns available, but the coverage falls far short of the Office 2010
full court press (pardon the pun) that the Clintons have received. What's Microsoft Office 2007different now?Office 2007One possibility is that most upper middle class Democrats, and therefore most Microsoft OfficeOffice 2007 keyeditors and reporters of our nation's big papers as well as Office 2007 downloadtelevision producers, are Obama supporters who think that Hillary should hurry up Office 2007 Professionaland drop out of the race already.Microsoft outlook
Microsoft outlook 2010Whom elite liberals are pulling for really does shape political coverage in ways

11/22/2010 12:59:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home