28,000-year old multi-tasker

Thanks to Scott for pointing me towards this BBC News story about a 28,000 year old phallus:

A quote: The prehistoric "tool" was reassembled from 14 fragments of siltstone. Ah, the British. So in love with their puns; so proud of their wit. He said tool. Heh heh. Heh heh. The author goes on to say that the "tool" may have been used as a sex aid, but "was also at times used for knapping flints," according to Professor Nicholas Conard, who knows a thing or two about knapping flints. Or sex aids. I figure they must have talked to an expert, for God's sake. I'd never heard of "knapping flints," but could figure it out from context. I pictured some Ice Age proto-person diddling herself/himself with it, getting bored, then turning it over to bang out a few flint arrowheads. Hell, it's not like you can do that with the real thing.

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I must have a tapeworm, or maybe I'm pregnant. So far tonight, I've had a buffalo burger (no bun), slice of red onion grilled on the barbie, and a romaine salad. That was my Atkins dinner. Still hungry, I had more than a few pretzels, a bowl of Tasty Bites Madras Lentils (Tasty Bites sounds like cat food, no?) garnished with red onion and Swiss cheese, a Girl Scout cookie, a few of my son's Kit Kat bites (more cat food), and 9 Kalamata olives. Did I mention the chili anchovies (from the Chinese market) and sardines for lunch?

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If you haven't figured it out yet, my muse has her head up her ass this evening. She pulled it out briefly this morning, allowing me to write this entry for the 'Worst First Sentence' contest at Writers BBS: P— was a dashing sailor, strong of biceps and large of groin, keen for his spinach, a fellow of few words and fewer letters. Okay, I'm pushing my luck. D.