Saturday, June 04, 2005

September 13, 1975

My son and I went up to our house in Harbor today (the one that is unlivable, since we're mid-remodel) because Jake was jonesing for his old Battlebots videotapes. This meant we had to dig through every last dusty box labeled 'Jake's Toys' until at last we found the one with his videotapes; of course, his Battlebots tapes were at the bottom. I took the opportunity to pick up my old diaries. Because it's funny (funny in an I'll never be able to show myself in cyberspace again kinda way), here's the first page of the first volume, reprinted as is.
***
DATA: BOUGHT SATURDAY, SEP. 13, 1975 52 CENTS VOLUME I. First Quarter, First Semester, 9th Grade. Sept. 13: I bought this notebook with the grand hope of keeping a day-by-day account of my high school years, and perhaps college as well. I admit that I have future fame in mind which will make these 'diaries' valuable, but the reason that I prefer is that I can show this to my kid(s). But first, a brief autobiography. I was born ***, in the Pasadena Hospital. I won't give any crap about my family because I don't think I'll forget that too fast. I went to the Emperor Elementary School in which my favorite teacher was Don Agatep, who taught science. Then I went to Oak Avenue Junior High in which my favorite teacher was Bud Camfield, who taught Social Studies. Throughout Oak I maintained a 4.0 grade average academically. I am about to attend Temple City High School. That, I hope, will be the only line of crap in this whole bit. Why do I say that? Because I feel that such an oration is insincere, and thus crap. *** What strikes me the most is how different I am now. For example, nowadays, I'm much less egocentric and fame-obsessed. By the way, it has come to my attention that some of you have yet to vote on my blog. Just look at the colorful gizmo on the right margin (Rate me on BlogHop.com!) The green square with the smiley face is the correct button to press. Once I get 15 votes, BlogHop will give my site exposure on their home page, assuming you all have clicked on the correct square. That's the far left square, the green one with the smiley face. Click on it. Click now. I'll still be here when you get back. And get all your friends to click, too. Clicking is fun. Thank you. Old timers here will recall that this blog is an integral part of my plan to rule the world. Don't make me pull out my matzoh square with the Virgin Mary on it. I'll do it, too. D. *** Partly, I'm paranoid over identity theft; partly, I wanted to steal Steve Martin's line: I was born the child of poor black sharecroppers . . .

2 Comments:

Blogger Pat said...

hmmm....

It looks like your old posts have been restored, at the expense of your newer ones...

Unless I'm just incompetent at finding things.

6/09/2005 11:44:00 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

Never mind, I found 'em. dshoffman2.blogspot.com. Now I gets it.

6/09/2005 11:46:00 AM  

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