Friday, June 17, 2005

Scott Savol Exxxplicit Photos

John Scalzi's blog today made me realize something: Karen and I don't often say "I love you" to one another. Even when we were dating, one of us always managed to undercut the mood. Candlelight dinner, red wine, rack of lamb -- "Hey! My gawd, we're having a romantic moment." "No, really? How did that happen?" If I can allow myself to be truthful for one moment, here are the sweet nothings we repeat to one another nowadays: Doug: Fix this. Karen: You have no shame. Ah, the sweet sound of honesty. You have no shame. Hence today's title, Scott Savol Exxxplicit Photos. Hmm. Maybe I need a link to Scott Savol to really clinch the deal. Here's a cute mugshot. And here are the Exxplicit Photos I promised. Thanks to Demented Michelle for this idea. She told me she saw a substantial leap in blog traffic when she mentioned Savol. Failed bench scientist that I am, I feel compelled to test her theory. Now that I have you all here, I'd like to point out a new link on my right margin. Click on the title below the '59 T-Bird, and you will be led to my favorite published short story, "The Mechanic". Warning: it's crime fiction, which you would soon have figured out from the URL. Didn't want you SF fans to keep expecting an alien to pop up. Crime Scene Scotland didn't pay me a penny for this story. Told you I was a slut. D.


Blogger Demented M said...

Oh man am I laughing! Let me know if it works. The only thing I forgot to tell you I happened to mention him right when there was a big To Do about him on the show and interest was hot and heavy.

If this doesn't work try things like 'I had sex with Paris Hilton while her fiance watched' and 'I had a menage a trois with Tom and Katie and they asked me to marry them as a third spouse'. Those might work equally well.

Now the question is, will any of these people come back? I never asked and I don't have long range hit tracking.

Good luck.


6/18/2005 09:50:00 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

That's my problem, DM. Always three months behind the times. Your other ideas rock, although I'm not sure I could say even in jest that I'd had sex with Paris Spawn-of-Corruption Hilton or Tom My-GOD-he's-even-shorter-
than-me Cruise.

Nicole Kidman, on the other hand . . . or is she old news, too?

6/18/2005 10:32:00 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

Hadn't read The Mechanic before, Doug. Nice work. By which I mean, nasty piece of work, that. Kept me reading right till the end.

6/18/2005 02:58:00 PM  
Blogger Jacob said...

Thanks Pat. I'm still pretty happy with that one (unlike some of my earlier shorts, which I can't reread without wanting to rewrite).

6/18/2005 05:42:00 PM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Woops! Signed in as my son. But it was really me, all along.

6/18/2005 05:43:00 PM  

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