Friday, May 06, 2005

Painless relief from snoring and other myths

Today's blog comes from our Failure of Imagination Department.
For funsies, I decided to google 'snoring' just now. Here are the top five hits: IJustWantToSleep® promises to rid you of your snoring with simple exercises. They'll send you their eBook and access to online videos for only $49.97. SLEEP WIZARD is a jock strap designed for your chin. These folks are so confident you'll love sleeping in a nut sack that they offer a 30-day no questions asked money-back guarantee. Price tag: $69.97. (What's with the 97? Whatever happened to 99? Did some market researcher determine that humans have finally figured out the 99 trick, and we need to see a new number in order to be fooled again?) Tips of All, number three on the list, is the first one to provide solid information on snoring and obstructive sleep apnea. This is wonderful for consumer education, but death to a humor blog. Also, they lose points for posting links to bogus snoring cures (this one, for example). The American Academy of Otolaryngology comes in at number four with a clear concise article (with pictures!) Yay, my academy. Zero bogosity. Ignore scary picture of constipated old white man. Number five, Put an End to Snoring, returns us to the realm of brave hobbits and Narnian lions. Chief fantasy: they claim that by taking their questionnaire, you can determine if your snoring warrants a trip to a doctor. Wrong! Patients, doctors, and spouses are equally unreliable when it comes to assessing the severity of snoring (i.e., answering the question, is it snoring or obstructive sleep apnea?) They also list aromatherapy and homeopathy in their list of remedies. I'd start running off the mouth about homeopathy and aromatherapy except The Skeptic's Dictionary has done a fine job already.
The author's muse promises to pull her head out of her ass by tomorrow. Stay tuned.


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