A singular lack of faith
Here's how my mind works. I'm thinking about all the various spoof blogs I know: Madonna's Personal Blog, Harriet Miers's Blog!!!, and Mel's Musings (Mel Gibson's Blog), and I'm wondering, what other famous people have fake blogs in their honor? If anyone deserves a Harriet Miers-style blog, it's George W. Bush. Google George Bush's Blog and you'll get this defunct site (last update, June 6, 2001). Then there's Bush Blog!, which at least updates a bit more regularly (last entry, December 17, 2005). GOP.com, the Republican National Committee's official blog, is the funniest of the three. With a headline like Economy Continues to Thrive, you know they have writers who will give The Daily Show a run for its money. After that, I get the bright idea of looking for God's blog. Turns out, He has several, like this one, or this one, which I rather like. Maybe I just dig the idea of God singing a Barry Manilow song for Jesus' birthday.
"His name was Rico He wore a diamond He was escorted to his chair He saw Lola dancing there . . ."But what really gets me is this one, called Godblog. On June 3, 2002, someone named Steve Jones set up Godblog on Blogspot. His tag reads, Some of the amazing stories that people have told me or I have experienced about God doing stuff. and his one and only entry reads, Some stories of God's amazingness No link. Nada. Talk about a let-down. So, Steve? Put up or shut up. If you don't want to run Godblog, that's cool. It's easy as pie to destroy your blog -- believe me, I know. But leaving up a blog that reads Some stories of God's amazingness with nothing else to back it up depresses the hell out of me, and I'm agnostic. Anyway, what we really need is for one of the God's Blog guys to start leaving entries on George Bush's blog. You know, to mess with his mind. GEORGE (the Lord, like Death in Terry Pratchett's novels, should always write in caps) YOU'VE DONE QUITE ENOUGH, GEORGE. TIME TO STEP DOWN NOW, BEFORE LUCIFER AND I ARE FORCED TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING WORSE THAN HELL. J. Yeah, something like that. D.