Ends and odds

First the ends, For my Republican friends, And now the freakin' odds. For we're moving this weekend (What a pain in the rear end!) Not lounging like lazy old sods. Yes, we're changing our digs We'll be squealing like pigs Cuz that's how much we love U-Haul. That's a lie actually I drive trucks into trees And low-slung concrete garage walls.* Karen's learned from experience To keep me at a distance From lifting and driving and sharp stuff.** What I do best is opine And occasionally whine While the movers do all the hard puff-puff. Our first home we've remodelled But we must have been addled To think we could do it on budget. No countertops or floor covers Bathrooms still ugly buggers And yet we're near broke. Oh, fudge it! It tires me to the bone To abandon this home Even if it's to go to one better. Only one silver lining -- Stopping most of my whining -- We left all of our really good porn there. D. *Karen swears I have driven trucks without crashing them into concrete beams or tree branches, but I have no memory of such successes. **Once, while unpacking, I shaved off half a fingertip on broken glass. Ever hear the saying, "Humans have no memory for pain"? Bullcrap. I remember every second of that experience. My favorite part: the way every last paramedic and nurse had to unwrap my finger to look at the damages. That hurt.