Sunday, August 14, 2005

Here's a snippet for you

I've been working on Chapter 23 today, which is roughly halfway through the novel. I had thought this chapter would be ripe for paring (and at 300,000 words, one could argue this novel needs paring). Now that I'm rereading it, I'm loving it more than ever. Bear in mind that I wrote a novel that I would enjoy reading. That has always been my first goal. So if I gush over my own work, you'll understand why. Here's that snippet. Sul, my female protagonist, is taking an elevator to see my eeevil villainess, Madame Isen (think Tammy Faye Bakker crossed with Laura Bush). That's all you need to know. The left and right elevator walls were adorned with Church posters. Sul recognized one from last year’s Supra-Tithe Pledge Drive. Holding hands, Madame Isen and the Arch-pastor sat together on a marble bench in the green promenade fronting the Timbrel Cathedral. They leaned in towards one another, beaming at the camera. In flowing script, set against a blue sky, were the words,
You are one of Ki-Ni’s nest, and our nest, too! Your “love offerings” make it possible to broadcast Ki-Ni’s glorious message to the world! We love you more than you can know! Thank you for everything!!
The other poster featured Madame Isen seated at her desk, the Arch-pastor standing behind her. His talons rested lightly on her shoulders. She wore a gold tiara and a flowing white gown; he wore his traditional black three-piece suit. This poster wasn’t familiar, and when Sul read the caption, she understood why.
Thanks to the miracle of “singularities” and Benevolent Satellite technology, we can spread the love of Ki-Ni throughout the Galaxy faster than the speed of light! But we can’t do it without your help! Send us your “love offerings” today!!
Well, thought Sul, the Church certainly seems confident in the negotiations’ outcome. She remembered the Arch-pastor’s announcement at the prayer breakfast. Their very own Satellite station . . . nonstop Kinist evangelism for the Silk Road’s many hungry ears and other sensory appendages. Was that what this was all about? But the Satellite station would be free, and heaven knew the Church already had a firm handle on the business of network television. Why would they use the station as a ploy for more donations? Why wouldn’t they? D.


Blogger Pat said...

Which "the novel" is this? Karakoram (sp?) or The Barakan Correspondent? If it's the latter... 300,000 words? Jebus wept, man. That's a trilogy.

Hope you're havin' fun editing!

8/15/2005 09:19:00 PM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

This is from Brakan Correspondent. Yup, trilogy. Too bad it has NO natural breaking points. Well . . . I'm thinking if Tor could do it for Golden Age, they can do it for me ;o)

That sumbitch Karakoram, if it ever sees the light of day, will be rewritten from scratch. You know how you have to write a 100K words before you hit your stride? That's Karakoram.

8/15/2005 09:35:00 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

Ah yes. "Everyone's got one bad novel in them, and once they get that out of the way, they can start to write." I don't know who said it, but it has the ring of truth to it...

8/16/2005 05:53:00 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Karakoram served its purpose. It helped me learn to write; it allowed me to build the world (universe) I subsequently used in TBC; it gave me two characters who were so compelling I had to give them a backstory (that's what TBC is, essentially). All in all, not too bad a waste of time.

8/16/2005 11:52:00 AM  
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